"I look like the guy who'd come in and take a stain off your couch.
Or put a stain on."

- Vincent D'Onofrio in Movieline, May 1997 -

What sort of stains did that man talk about anyway?
I have no idea at all. Really.

Now wouldn't you like to offer your couch where he could show you
what he meant?

Perhaps he could even perform a live demonstration.

Well then, Mister D'Onofrio!
Just come in, take a seat and enjoy yourself in the friendly
and personal atmosphere of our hospitable couch.

And please don't worry about fancy fabrics - we can then use a cream soap bar
to clean and remove all liquid spots. Soft scrubbing might work, too.

Have a great week everyone!


  1. I think I'm staining my couch right now!

  2. He's more than welcome to come and put as many stains as he likes on my couch..I have washable covers so he could do it again and again and again :-D

  3. Anonymous8:38 PM

    I always thought the floor was a more suitable venue to be honest (more room to roll around!)

  4. I hope this applies to futons, too!

  5. Vincent, you can "come" and leave a stain on my couch anytime you want. And that couch will never see soap, shampoo or a vacuum again! (In fact, I'll probably build a shrine around the stain!)

  6. Oh my, I have three couches in my living room alone that he's welcomed to use. And one in the bedroom - we could have a wild rumpus around the whole apartment.

  7. Fuck the couch, stain my bed, big boy! Oh, I guess "fuck" is the operative word here. LOL