Beach (n): 1. an expanse of sand or pebbles along a shore. 2. the part of the shore of an ocean, sea, large river, lake, etc., washed by the tide or waves. 3. the area adjacent to a seashore.
A few sentences into only my 2nd blog and you’re probably wondering what an earth I rambling on about now. Well, duh! Vincent D’Onofrio and beaches! In the words of Fox Mulder in The X-Files (Episode: Arcadia): "Did I not make myself clear?" And yes, as much as I like to fantasize about Vincent D’Onofrio, me, beach, alone; that’s not exactly what I mean.
Criminal Intent. Episode: Depths.
First I would just like to say that I love this episode for so many reasons. What can I say? I truly am a season 7 freak. Hands down one of my favorite seasons. But one thing, actually one line from this episode has always had me dumbfounded. To this day, ever since I watched “Depths” I’ve always contemplated a certain statement he made. Again, what am I speaking of? Besides the fact that he looks very yummy with his collar unbuttoned and that irresistible stubble that just makes me want to pounce on him...
In the beginning of the episode, as I’m sure you remember, Bobby was walking on the beach to investigate the dead body that floated to shore. Well, he mumbled something as he was walking towards the body. He said: “I hate the beach.” In fact, it was the very first thing he said in the episode. This particular line has always stuck with me (along with some other very memorable lines which I’ll probably blog about sooner or later). But no other line has made me want to ask him a question as badly as this one. Since I first viewed this episode, I’ve continued to ponder the idea; the fact that maybe Vincent D’Onofrio really doesn’t like beaches. And if not, then why? I was thinking maybe he thinks he's big and feels uncomfortable with himself, you know? And I’m sure I’m not the only one to wonder if this statement is true or if it was just something written in the script that his character was forced to say. And I know, I know. I’m well aware of the fact that he’s ad-libbed before, but this doesn’t seem like a line that he would add himself. For instance, in the episode “Purgatory” in the interrogation room with Mike Stoat (played by actor Dean Winters), he wanted and did add the line: “Well, yeah, that’s the thing, Mike…I’m nothing like you.” You know the scene and Vincent D’Onofrio was able to add that line in response to Mike Stoat saying: “C’mon, Bobby, you’re gonna do this to one of your own?”
"Purgatory." This is pretty much where Goren said that line to Stoat.
Anyway, I like how I start talking about “Depths” and end up going off on some rant about “Purgatory.” So, does anyone know anything about this beach statement? Any thoughts or theories even? I was actually almost content on just accepting that I more than likely would never know when something he said in a more recent interview had me thinking once again. During an interview into him leaving Criminal Intent, he said he was “Happy to be leaving” (which broke my heart right there) but then he said the words: “Hopefully I’ll surf a lot.” Now I’m sorry but I really just cannot picture him surfing. Anyone know if he actually surfs? It was just so out of the blue but there was no indication that he was actually joking. I really couldn’t tell either way. I was hoping he would elaborate, but no! So once again I’m stuck with this question. And I’ve spoken to many people about this who are equally confused with that comment. So I kept thinking about it and maybe by ‘surf’ he meant to surf or browse for new roles to play. It didn’t sound that way, but you never know. By the way, the video I’m referring to is titled: “Vincent D'onofrio Talks About The Law And Order Experience.” It is uploaded on YouTube by gorenisababe. If you haven’t seen this video, I suggest checking it out. It’s a great interview. The comment about surfing is at the end of the video.
And now while you ponder my question, some of my favorite screen captures from the episode:
I really loved this scene. The shirt was yummy on him and there's just something about him in latex with his shirt sleeves rolled up! LOL! And this isn't a bad view, either.
This is just too cute.
Self-explanatory. I mean, really. *Drool*
You will never get me to admit how many times I've stared at this...and kept rewinding this scene just to watch this part. No one take offense to this, but after this scene, the guy driving the boat is now officially gay. LOL. He got one glimpse of Vincent’s ass and there was no going back for him. Lucky, lucky man.
If you’re not completely distracted by the pictures above, you may be thinking by now that I’m insane. I mean, of all the questions I could ask him, I choose to ask him this? Well, it’s not like I’ll ever get to ask him a question anyway. So I'm more or less pretending here because I’m not that fortunate. And I realize, like every single one of you out there, I too have many questions I would like to ask our overwhelming, scrumptious, breathtaking, Vincent. And I know. Some questions would be innocent such as the beach question while others would be, well, not so appropriate. But really, I can’t be the only one that wants to desperately dive into his personal life. You know you wonder about so many different, er, things, just like me. But would I get personal if I had the chance? More than likely, no. I would not because I respect him too much. And, really, it’s none of my business about those fantasy questions I so want to ask him. I've never written an actor a letter, taken a picture of them, or bothered them when I see them on the street (I was even in the same hotel, in the same elevator with one in Hawaii). I just respect their privacy and somewhere a line has to be drawn.
Those damn rolled sleeves again! I swear he does it on purpose because he knows we love those forearms!
So there you have it. Besides that smile to go along with his yummy voice, and those very alluring, muscular forearms, as well as his lips, those beautiful eyes, those fingers and hands, and his large frame that I completely and utterly fell in love with and want to know and explore everything about, I’d keep it professional. There are way better questions to ask him if I could ask him one question, but this would be mine. I mean, really, what should I ask him? Vincent, never ‘Vince” as I’ve read/seen in interviews, will you marry me? I mean, I know you're 27 years and 27 days older than me and you can have anyone in the world, but still, ya know, could you? Ha ha, not quite. Hmm. And, oh my god, I thought about this last night! Remember Mike Stoat reminded us in the beginning of "Purgatory" that Bobby had 27 arrest and 27 convictions while working in narcotics (all heavy-hitters). It's a sign, it's a sign I tell you! 27 and 27!!! Actually, it is pretty coincidental. Do you think Vincent would go for it?! Probably not.
Was anyone else turned on by this or was it just me? *Innocent look* I'm not kidding, I thought he was so sexy throughout this entire episode.
So, Vincent, my one question to you: Do you really hate the beach? I hope not because you must know that you would be the sexiest man on it! And while I may never know the answer to this question, I can always pretend, right? God, I love fantasy land. Because, really, it's so much better than reality.
So, if you could ask Vincent one question, what would it be?