(The Pilgrim S2 E8)

On Saturday night, Det. Goren and his Vixens went out for a private dinner. And it's not the kind of dinner you would expect. Someone (who prefers to remain anonymous - and for good reason) filmed that 9 1/2 Weeks fridge scene worthy happening. Later, the home video in question made history as "The Chocolate Series".

It happened as follows...

Okay, Snyder, I know you are a fan of The X-Files, but - honestly - wasn't this a weird location for the dinner?

Lucky Perp: Speaking of weird ... when they asked me to test silverware and dining table I didn't expect THIS!

Bobby: I should buy Jenz some body lotion and apologize for the stubble burn about the main course.

Bobby: God, I love it when Val leaves coded naughty messages in my dining room!

Bobby: And Mauigirl were right, I CAN do it at that distance.

Bobby: Funny, I could have SWORN I removed all the evidence right after the liquid chocolate came into play.
Eames: Mister, what do you think, is it too late to get a new job partner? Acquired taste, my ass!

Bobby: Aww c'mon, Deakins, all we said is we didn't invite you because your tie does not match your outfit.


Eames: Mmmm there're some cute guys at webcam.com. Can I use your mastercard, Goren? Just this once.

Bobby: (daydreaming about Snark) I'm busy, Eames, don't you see?
Eames: (thinking) If he won't let me use his mastercard, I'll post the 'dinner video' on any adult site I can find!

Bobby: Aaaaaaaah SHIT!!! Someone posted the video on Stabler's facebook!
Eames: I'm shocked. Really. Yeah. Shocked. Sure.

Bobby: There'll be trouble if Deakins finds out. BIG trouble!

Bobby: Do you think he knows?
Eames: I don't think so.
Deakins yelling from his office: #%@$%#@!!! Goren!! My office! NOOOW!!!
Eames: Yep. He knows.

At Deakins office, or what Deakins refers to as 'Office of Internal Goren Affairs'

Bobby: (thinking) They can't blame it on me that HBO made a miniseries based on the home video, can they?
Deakins: (thinking) I will blame it on Goren that HBO made a miniseries based on the home video, yes I can.
Man in blue suit: (thinking) OMG I wanna make out with the guy in the check shirt soooo bad!
Guy in check shirt: (thinking) OMG I wanna make out with Eames soooo bad!

Eames is wondering if they know that she can hear them thinking.

When The Chocolate Series became one of the most groundbreaking, graphic and shocking bits of tv ever made ...

Bobby: Did you watch the tv pilot? Which pencil do you want me to use to sign an autograph?
Eames: See what I have to put up with on a daily basis...!

Eames: ... and charge the Italian sausages for the next dinner party to my partner's mastercard, will you?
Bobby: Just one more question, can you do anything with your thumb?

Bobby: Naw, that was not even near to Santangelo! You should see ME, doing the thumb when I'm with my Vixens!

Ha! The Chocolate Series got higher ratings than Ice-T's cooking show!

Now THAT tie matches!


  1. Wow, great post. Now that's a video I'd love to star in.

  2. So glad to know I'm at least in his thoughts! LOL. A very, VERY funny post, my dear Jazzy!

  3. Bloody hell, what a brilliant post! It must have taken you AGES!

  4. Anonymous2:36 PM

    Loved the Santangelo bit. LOL
    ::thoughts of Bobby's thumb::
    Oh Mother help me!

  5. Wow! What a brilliant post! It's great, funny and inspired! I love it.

  6. No doubt you'd get a leading role in the liquid chocolate scene, Artist.
    Snark, you're the lucky one, just look at his facial expression in this pic. And the day will come when we all are not only in this thoughts but also in this pants (we wish).
    Ages? No, just weeks, Lozzie :) But is was fun. Apropos fun, how about an joint post?

  7. OMG!! Jazzy darling, you are the BEST! This is the funniest post I've seen in a long while! Absolutely brilliant.

  8. Anonymous8:21 PM

    *Sitting here smiling*

  9. I have had the WORST week in history and I come back to this post which not only made me laugh and smile but is GROUNDBREAKINGLY brilliant! I for one would watch that series every time! Thanks jazzy for making my week seem not so bad! YOU ROCK! Big huggies!
    fyi i kinda like the stubble, tee hee!

  10. Jenz, nip over to Life and Vincent for a great dose of stubble!

    I'm glad you didn't let Bobby translate the coded message for the readers, they would be so jealous.

  11. Don't worry, Val, you can trust in Bobby's absolute discretion; all translations are secured in his well hidden diary.

    Jenz, please follow Val's suggestion and visit her blog - but be warned, her blog is addictive and you need a lot of drool towels there.
    Glad you're back, sis. (There'll be better times for you, you'll see!) Big hugs!

  12. Lmao. Jazzy, how did you know I was an X-Files fan? It was my first love. =)

    But I must say...I had to pause for a brief moment (okay, several minutes) to stare at the 3rd pic from the top. Oh my god, I love that look. *melts* And The Pilgrim is one of my favorite episodes because of the end scene. I remember my boyfriend at the time had went home and watched the episode because I was raving about it so much. He called me later and was like, "You thought him getting bit by another man was hot?" Lmfao! I was replied: HELL YES! That whole scene was yummy!

    Also, the 11th pic from the top is another great pic. Anytime he has a certain look on his face, like that one, it makes me wanna hug him!!!

    Great post, Jazzy!


  13. Bravo jazzy! Brilliant post :)

  14. Well, Snyder, let's just say I know some of your little secrets because I can read dreams LOL! Another reason may be that you go by 'x-files' at youtube. BTW I totally agree with you about pic #3 Could stare at it for ever!

    Thanks everyone for your comments - so glad you liked it. I just enjoy to make you smile :)

  15. Yeah, Jazzy, after I posted the comment I went to shower and I was like, OMG, I'm an idiot! Duh! My YouTube account name! LOL. You have no idea how bad I want to change it to "OuroborosSnyder" but I created it a long time ago and that's what I came up with. Ha Ha. Oh well! What can ya do?

    Anyway, pic #3 is yummy...but then when I scrolled down and saw that other pic again (I believe #11) with him wearing his vest...omg. I think I may cry. Those eyes and the intensity in them. *begins to cry*