Do you ever wonder how Eames described "Bigfoot" in that personal ad?

If you have a detailed idea of how she described him, we want to know!


So, be clever, witty and creative and come up with an answer that impresses the jury (DOH! That's me)


* Bribing the jury with life-sized Bobby statues is allowed and won't result in penalties
* Participants must be obsessed with THE man and reside in VDO-Lalaland
* You may consult among yourselves and - if you wish - a trusted Doctor of Professional VDO Studies
* Please note the jury is no longer accepting entries of recommendation from Henry Kissinger
* Entries should not exceed 768,952,999 words in length
* All participants must prove that fictive characters appearing in their entry agree to being used for this purpose

(Rules will self-destruct after reading.)

The lucky winner will be announced next week.


  1. Anonymous4:47 AM

    Oh god, a compitition. You know this is going to drive me nuts. I'm up for the challenge as always.

  2. I have a cat named Bigfoot. Does that qualify me to submit an entry?

  3. Depends on the color of your cat, Ruby. LOL!
    Looking forward to your entry :)

  4. Anonymous3:30 PM

    Tall, with own handcuffs
    Takes Size 13
    Can you?


  5. I need some time to mull this over.

  6. Jazzy, my Bigfoot is a Maine Coon cat. So, comparably, he's about as big as Bobby!

  7. Long Tall Bobby for sale to appreciative owner. Price - finer than rubies.

    I like Diane's one.

  8. 6'4" handsome smart & sexy, out of work man
    seeks naughty partner with king size bed, coffee in the morning and subscription to Smithsonian magazine

  9. Animal lover, especially pythons. You will be impressed when you see his conjurer's tricks he studied with his python. If you assist Bobby in the right way, the python will grow and grow and you will experience unprecedented happiness.

  10. Diane, I think your ad would get thousand answers.

    King size, Python, Tall ... I like it all!

  11. Me: hot, huge, healthy, hung, and hungry. Big, beefy, beautiful and bold brainiac into Glenlivet, red sports cars, complicated mysteries, and Eggplant Parmesan. I'm as cool, comfortable, collected, and captivating in a suit as I am in jeans and a black t-shirt.
    Dislikes: authority figures, absentee fathers, low-class Thai, bullies, and the death penalty.
    You: confident and experienced enough to handle this size 13 cerebral lover of treadmills, library science, wrestling, magic tricks, tie clips, and “going commando.” Must appreciate both my strong and sensitive sides, and have the ability to satisfy a very demanding and active python. You won’t be sorry.
    -Big Foot-

  12. Anonymous4:57 AM

    Ohhh Snark, you have just raised the bar my friend.

  13. OK, I don't think there's ANY way that I can top Snark's ad (awesome, dude!), but getting into the particular lure they were using for the suspect, here's giving it the old college try:
    "Strong daddy in possession of the keys to your ignition. Will you drive or shall I? I travel either way. Will come to meet you at desired location. Phone BIG-FOOT."

  14. Anonymous7:16 AM

    Bigfoot seeks sleek fox for interspecies communion. It's a jungle out there, but I know some great trails, and I ain't afraid of the deep, dark stuff. Put your little paw in mine and together we'll wade the creeks and scale the cliffs amidst swinging on the vines of destiny. Are you ready to have even more fun than merely being in love? Two grunts mean "yes, dear." Two grunts and a howl mean "yes, dear, NOW!" *beat chest*

    Okay this one was just for fun still working on contest entry.

  15. Bev, you're a wild woman!

  16. Anonymous9:22 AM

    As you can see, I'm a woman of few words ;0)

  17. Single large male
    Loving the dark, warm and humid places
    Research insatiable, tough and flexible partner for intense physical activity ( accessories provided ).
    Size 13 shouldn't scare you : he adapts to all situations! He sneaks with sweetness in tight areas. (Experiences!)
    Affectionate, gentle, passionate and creative, he will fulfill all your expectations and desires.
    So go ahead!! You will not regret it!

  18. WOW, what great answers. I'm afraid mine is simpler and to the point:

    Tall, handsome, complicated man seeks partner who is willing to expand their horizons on a journey into unbridled passion. Must trust completely and have no fear. Handcuffs, collars, whips and chocolate a must. Interested parties should call 1-555-BIG-FOOT.

  19. Whoa!!!
    Guys, your ads are MOST prizeworthy!

  20. Anonymous3:31 AM


    I'm a 6'4" Italian Alpha male,
    south paw.
    I'm passionate, so you should expect passion if the chemistry connects. I'm sensitive, highly intelligent, and hard working. I'm descibed as a sharp dressed mystery man who likes to go undercover. Critics describe me as quirky, but I'm just misunderstood.
    When I'm good I'm very good, when I'm bad I'm even better. I like to spoil women with my brown eyes, and what I hope would be gallant behavoir.
    I'm the proud owner of a vigorous, swinging python who perfers to be left unrestrained. It's looking to share lifes ups and downs with you.
    My anatomy should be patented because a hard man is a good find.
    98.6 degrees will never feel this good.
    I'm looking for someone strong and beautiful. Strong enough to look at me in the eye and speak your mind, with the same passion that you speak your love. I need you to love me for my mind, not my body. Play with my body, not my mind.

    Connect me in person, I have been spotted walking the streets of New York. I'll be wearing a blue plaid shirt.

  21. Wow! These are possibly the hottest ads i've ever read! Delicious descriptions of a delicious man. I had the worst week and coming back to read this has made it all worth it!