Scandlous Memoirs

(semi-professional)

Eames: What are you doing?

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Bobby: Writing my memoirs.
Of course this book doesn't even begin to catalog my adventures with the Vixens.

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A.D.A. Carver: Detectives, we can't do the 9 1/2 weeks thing now;
look, it takes Eames hours to find her "equipment".
At this rate, you'll never finish writing your memoirs before Season 8!

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Eames: I hope chapter 13 will never get published. I really do!

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Bobby: But there was no Vixen kneeling under my desk, I swear!

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Bobby: No, I will NOT scratch the delicate passages I wrote about you.

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A.D.A. Carver: So you think the Vixens will go crazy when they read your memoirs?
Stop sticking your tongue out and answer my question instead!

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Bobby: Seriously, Judge, this is your hammer?
I don’t mean to brag, but you should see my hammer!
Actually I wrote an extra chapter about it; great bedtime reading, I tell you!

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Bobby: In case Det. Zach Nichols "The Fly" becomes my new job partner,
I'd also write about what happened at the last office party.
Ha, there you have it!

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Eames: Judge, don't allow him to publish his memoirs!
Those four love affairs between Bobby and the Vixens has to be kept as a secret!

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Bobby: Four??? I counted dozens, myself.

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Bobby: You know how my Vixens like to play in the kitchen;
I hope they didn’t throw my manuscript out by mistake...

No, it just smells like used drool towels.

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Bobby: Stare at me all you want Eames, chapter 13 stays in.
That's right, I'm not even going to look at you.

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Bobby: Where did you put those notes the Vixens sent me? Burned on this stove?

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Thank Goodness the team13 made a copy. Huh!

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Bobby: Nothing serious, I just enjoy doing this...

12 comments:

  1. Clearly this is Bobby working on the first volume of his memoirs...volumes 2-27 to follow, when he has time ;0)

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  2. Jazzy, my dear, I just want to thank you for all the wonderful hard work you do for all of us who are addicted to Vincent. Thanks for all the time you spend and wondeful research...I look forward to my daily cup of my favorite addiction. PS. My birthday is tomorrow. What do you have in store?? Can't wait to open a Vincent present.

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  3. drl59, your birthday present will be posted on here tomorrow :) are you ready to unwrap it?

    thank you so much for your touching words; but believe me, this site would be nothing without my BELOVED dream team, the WONDERFUL vixens and all those GREAT comments!

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  4. I will gladly unwrap it! The question is, do I get to keep it???

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  5. I'd never noticed what a good groin sequence that bin opening bit is. Thank you :)

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  6. Awesome post, Jazz!
    Oh and thank you for the f*cking great video from the previous post. It's f*cking perfect :-D

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  7. madi, you are f*cking welcome ;)

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  8. So Jazzy dear what chapters are dedicated to you?

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  9. no idea artist, but rumors say that dan ireland is going to make a film of that special chapter (i hope that zellweger will never get the role of me).

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  10. Vincent's memoirs, talk about some great bedtime reading.

    Don't worry jazzy, we'll campaign that you get to play yourself in the movie. And of course Vincent will have to play himself, who else could portray such a great character actor but him???

    BTW~ I've heard artist gets her very own book complete with pictures...

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  11. can you imagine all those deleted scenes and outtakes - i almost can picture it in my head... hee hee.

    and i'm also looking forward to artist's picture book. LOL!

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  12. Oh NO, I've got the pictures locked away. Actually, in the same place I keep BOB. LOL!

    And your right VDO'O Jazzy will have to play herself, no actress could do her justice. If the movie is anything like Sunday's post we're in for a Triple X rating!

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