COUNT D'RACULA

Vampires are sexy, Vampires are hot! It is of no wonder that Dracula had been the subject of more films than any other fictional character. Since the time of Béla Lugosi's Dracula the Vampire, male or female, has usually been portrayed as an alluring sex symbol. Wesley Snipes, Edward Cullen, Frank Langella, and Lauren Hutton are just a few examples of actors who brought great sex-appeal into their portrayal of the Vampire.
Yes, there is something about these Gothic symbols of manhood that makes you weak in the neck. It's their style, their power and their flair for the romantic. And let us not forget, they're the ultimate bad guys. Which simply means they have dirty sex a lot! It's probably a combination of all of the above that makes these thousand-year-old walking corpses so damn appealing.
So, wouldn't it be great if the sexiest man alive and best kisser ever played the role of Count D'racula in the adult version of 'Let The Right One In' or 'Midnight Kiss'?



Seven reasons why Vincent should do it!

#7 VAMPIRES ARE LONERS

The average guy (that is every man compared to our Vincent) runs with a pack; a group of close friends who come over to watch the game, hit the tiles on the weekends and get into trouble together. Sounds like fun to you? Let's face it, dear Vixens: This clan takes up quality time and attention that is reserved for YOU! The Vampire however works alone. He is usually out doing his own thing. He has aaaaalllll the time in the world. Literally!

#6 THE PRE-FUCK DANCE

Everybody loves sex! And every Vixen loves those ciggie-worthy, pantie-moistening scenes that we have seen in Guy, Naked Tango and Claire Dolan. But the greater turn on is all the fooling around that should be involved. You know, some men just like to get down to business, but not Vampires! They want to mess around. Particularly around the neck area -- the 'sweet spot' as it's known around the coffins. They know how to start off tender and soft and then get rough. WOOF!

#5 THE VAMPIRE SEARCHES FOR ENDLESS LOVE


Sounds like a big pro, doesn't it? I mean, you and Vincent destined to meet, fall in love and be together forever, or at least till pleasure kills you. Now imagine that Vincent as a Vampire is just as eager to find YOU and has been searching for untold centuries. Finally he finds you and sinks his teeth (figuratively) into you, he makes you feel like you are the only one in the world. It's no wonder you fall hard ..... then again, it could also be the blood loss.

#4 GOTH BUT CLASSY

Ever seen a poorly dressed Vampire??? Vampires are always impeccably dressed and they wear their clothes well and always with the perfect fit. Their fashionable and usually dark garments show off just the right amount of chest. A nice and sexy pair of skin-tight pants completes the look. Yes, that's right, the key word here is TIGHT! Can you picture it? Vampires look better dressed than the living, not even taking into consideration the fact they can't run to Calvin Klein to pick up a black suit for tonight's big date.

#3 ROMANCE

Vampires know how to pull all the tricks to make the setting perfect. Also working to their advantage is that they don't do much talking to ruin the moment. The full moon seems to follow them wherever they go, the scenery is always dark and mysterious and the atmosphere is just right for doing something dirty.
They've also had hundreds of years of practice .... think about that for a moment!

#2 POWER

Vampires exude two types of power. The first is the raw, physical power. The Vampire is always in phenomenal shape; it must be the low carbs/high blood diet and tons of sleep. The second type of power is mental. He's usually a manipulative bastard who can match brains as much as brawn. It's almost IMPOSSIBLE to kill a Vampire! So, this is the major reason Vincent should go for it - he could be killed even before the beginning scene and yet keep on biting, sucking and kissing until the happy ending!

#1 VAMPIRES ARE BAD GUYS

And bad guys are HOT! Now mix in the fact that the Vampire is searching for eternal love - et voilà! - you've got the ULTIMATE LOVE MACHINE!



Just imagine a mixture of Cholo and Carl and you'll know what I mean. That blooksucker answers to no one, lives by his own rules, wears nice clothes, is hated by millions of living fuckin' tourists and he's hot. He is the man our parents warned us about! Except with more eye liner and lip gloss than they could have ever predicted.

HE ISN'T JUST BAD, HE'S DEAD! BEAT THAT!

15 comments:

  1. Egad, what a post!!

    Pantie-wetting indeed........;)

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  2. Ha! Ha! The perfect vampire post, my dear Jazzy! And I have to agree with every single assertion. Vincent the Vampire? Bring him on!!!

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  3. He'd be the PURRFECT vampire!

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  4. I thought Vampires only went for virgins?

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  5. Fabulous, Jazzy! Vincent the Vampire is what *I'd* like for Christmas!

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  6. I'm glad you like it, thank you everyone!
    Now we all should put Vince D'racula on our X-mas wishlist, and wear a Low-cut Neckline T-Shirt, just in case Santa is v-friendly :)

    Judith, virgins are out since Spike & Buffy. The modern Vampire prefers experienced Vixens - otherwise he'd die of thirst.

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  7. Oooohhhh! I LOVE the way you think, dear Jazz! You always have good ideas ;)

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  8. I forgot but I love your collages *THUD*

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  9. I've been a sucker (!) for vampires for as long as I can remember. Vincent would be the ultimate.

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  10. Hmm......food for thought!

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  11. I'd love to see him perform on stage as a vampire. Or, maybe I meant to say my bedroom.

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  12. Wow i come back at just the right time to a gr8 post! Loving it!

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  13. Again, thank you all for your comments :)

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